If it wasn’t already obvious, I do some of my best learning through reading. I can’t recall ever taking one of those learning styles tests, but I know I’d rank higher on reading than simply seeing. (Since I do love personality tests, I should probably take one some day.)

So over the last 8 months or so, I’ve read a lot about pregnancy, birth, and infants. Most of these books I’ve received as gifts or gotten cheap at a thrift store based on recommendations. What I’m finding really interesting (and potentially frustrating) is the variety and contradiction of the contents.

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp focuses on calming the crying in a variety of ways so that both baby and parents get enough rest. I appreciated the blend of medical science and common sense, wrapped together with a rather amusing tone. For example, I laughed over this quote for days:

I think America’s favorite pastime isn’t baseball…. It’s giving new moms unsolicited advice.

Karp’s 5 S’s (swaddling, side/stomach, shushing, swinging, and sucking) are easy to use and remember. Most of his book is built on the premise that babies could use a “fourth trimester” in the womb and each of the S’s helps make the outside world a little more womb-like for the little one.

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam was also good, but my particular copy was a little dated (copyright 1995) so maybe I’ll check the library for an updated version, just to compare. These authors seem unworried about stomach sleeping infants, which recent studies have linked strongly to SIDS, so I ignored that part.

Ezzo and Bucknam strongly advocate getting your baby on a routine as quickly as possible so that babies are sleeping through the night by around 6-8 weeks. They recommend watching the clock, but not allowing the clock to be the parent, some feedings will happen slightly earlier or later than the average 3 hours apart. I appreciated a lot of the tips, especially about helping a more nocturnal baby transition to sleeping more at night, but I’m not sure how hardcore I will be about always making sure the routine is “feeding-waketime-naptime.”

La Leche League International’s The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is a lot less structured than Babywise, advocating the natural instincts of the mother and baby over the schedule. This book recommends feeding when the baby is hungry, as many times throughout the day and night as necessary. Again, I’m not sure how I feel about that.

But what I did love about that book was all the advice and techniques for making breastfeeding successful. For me, nursing is primarily about the budget. I love that breast milk is created to be the right food for baby and all the immune-boosting and relationship-building benefits for both mom and baby. But when it comes down to it, if we don’t have to buy formula, it will be a lot easier for me to stay home with baby and just work very part time.

At first I worried that reading all these different parenting philosophies would make me confused and paralyzed about what is BEST. But I think that it’s worked out to be the opposite. If I hadn’t read a variety of ideas, I would be sure that there is one right way to do this, and be more prone to get down on myself for perceived failures. I already know that that is going to be a challenge for me, it has been for my whole life. If I don’t do something exactly right, I’ve failed, and will likely never succeed (as shown in my reactions to learning to ride bike, read music, multiply, and drive). I’ve already been reminding myself that parenthood is full of failure and success, so we’ll see how I do at keeping a balanced perspective. Even without enough sleep.

One of my favorite reminders came from almost every book that I’ve read; remember that your baby is joining the family that you’ve already begun to create. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner will provide security and stability for your children. I think it would be really easy to focus so much on baby that you neglect your marriage, which is probably why all these books remind you not to.

Baby T-Rex is due in the next month or so, and then we’ll see. About so many things, we will wait and see.