*I’ve been working on this post for a few days now, and I’m still not sure that it says everything I want it to say. Maybe I’ll have to do a series on introversion in my experience.*
I identify as an introvert. In the last few years it’s become “cool” (or at least less “uncool”) to be introverted. I’m guessing Susan Cain had a little something to do with that. (Check out her TedTalk here, if you haven’t.)
I need that time alone to recharge. But lately I’ve been confronted with the fact that it is also not good for me to be alone too much. For example, I don’t like to eat alone and I tend to make poor eating choices if I have too many meals alone. There are also certain people whose presence is just as easy and comfortable as being alone.
All that is because there are more aspects to me (to all of us) than just the ranking on the introversion-extraversion spectrum. I was first introduced to the Myers-Briggs personality test in my senior year of college. Thank you, Dr. Maylath. Because those four letters clarified a lot for me.
If you’ve never looked at this, here’s the link to the official page. Essentially this “test” measures where you stand on four different aspects of personality and character. Knowing yourself can be helpful.
I’m an INFJ, pretty much the rarest type, although I know quite a few like me. There’s a lot that I could go into, but one of the most dominant traits is empathy. Which explains why I regularly almost faint when visiting people in the hospital and why I’m sobbing 10 seconds into a video of soldiers returning home. But it also explains why it’s not good for me to be alone too much.
I think that when I spend too much time alone, I start empathizing with myself and essentially magnifying my own emotions, like when you put a microphone in front of a speaker and get that awful feedback sound. I need to sometimes let myself be influenced by the feelings of others to lower the intensity of my own.
But I have to be careful who I absorb and how much. Empathizing with others can give them a lot of power over how I feel, and I’ve learned to be cautious with the people I let get that close.
So, what are your letters? Did you find it helpful or not? I suspect that different types might not set as much score by these letters as I do.
I’m an INTP (used to be INTJ) and have similar feelings. We’re also rare. Very well put!
I’m INTJ and I feel your struggles here. One of my big things is that I fall about halfway between the introvert/extrovert spectrum so I love to be around people…for about half an hour. I think, however, if we put too much stock in MBTI it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think perhaps it’s better for getting a quick idea about someone and the real knowledge comes from learning what makes you happy and doing that. I write about my introversion quite a bit on my blog anthonyjalbright.wordpress.com Look me up! 🙂
INFJ’s are my favorite. Seriously. I’m an INFP and spent most of my adult life thinking I was an E. I have a lot of E qualities, and actually, ambivert could describe me quite well. But the older I get, the longer I’m a therapist, and the closer I get to Jesus, the more alone time I need. I crave it. Go utterly insane without it (just ask my husband).