Hello all! I’m about 2 days behind right now. The other day I decided the shut down my computer at the end of the night, since it had been awhile since I’d actually shut down instead of just letting it sleep. The next day when I booted up, I got stuck in an endless “system restore” loop. My tech support is going to take a look at it this weekend, but right now it’s out of commission.

This isn’t really a valid excuse though, because I have access to several other computers. And I have a nearly endless supply of paper and writing utensils.

And really, the only one who seems to need an excuse for my absence is me. So instead of getting bogged down in the past, I’ll just say: I’ve missed a couple days. And now I am back.

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There’s a group in Fargo called the Red River Valley Writing Project. Mostly it’s a way for teachers to connect and learn about the teaching of writing. But every year they host a Writing Pub Crawl. And tonight is the event.

(I gotta be honest though, I just stopped and picked up the prompts for this year without actually doing the crawl.)

This year’s prompts are quotes from famous authors with one trigger word pulled out. There are a couple that I’d like to do, but I’m feeling fuzzy-headed thanks to a bad night with the baby. I want to do these pieces well, so I’m adding them to my collection. (I also plan to come back to Day 7’s post, don’t worry.)

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I’ve been calling myself a writer lately. When people ask what I do, I’m a mom and a writer. I still don’t know exactly what that means, but I’m not sure anyone really does. I don’t know how to get paid to do this, because I’m not exactly sure what this is.

I find it ironic that I’m trying to consistently blog, but I always strongly resist any article or post about “how to blog” or even “how to get paid to blog.” Like I don’t even click them. I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain this reaction, because it’s really intense. I don’t want to know the secret formula.

Maybe because everything I’ve ever learned about writing is that there is no formula. There is no magic way to succeed at this. The magic is, well, actually magic.

At the same time as I want to get paid to write, I also regularly undervalue my own worth. Maybe a little bit of introversion. Maybe some Midwest humility. Either way, I know that I’m selling myself short.

Example: I’ve been looking for a way to work part-time, and pay down some debts. But all I can think of to do is go back to the bookstore. And while working in a bookstore holds considerable appeal, deep down I know I could do more. I just have no idea what that is. What more I want to do. Whether I am qualified to do whatever it is I decide I’d like to try.

I wish I knew how to overcome this. That sounds counter-intuitive, I know. But sometimes you can know something, but still not succeed at it. Like in one of the Princess Diaries movies, the Queen says to Mia, “Can you try to grasp that concept?” And she says, “The concept is grasped. The execution is a little elusive.”

If I know how to overcome some of this negative self-talk and undervaluing, at least I’d have a leg up on accomplishing it.

In the meantime, you’ll find me here. Because I tend to discover new or hidden truths about myself when I just sit down and “type some stuff.”