For the record, I’m pretty terrible at creating and keeping realistic goals and habits. I think the main reason for this is because in my mind missing one day/week/whatever means I’ve already failed and keeping at it after that is really hard.

Yes, I’m aware that’s pretty ridiculous.

However, I was struck yesterday by a Facebook post by the author Kate DiCamillo (Tale of Despereaux and Because of Winn Dixie, among others):

A long time ago (23 years this January), I made a deal with myself.

I wanted to be a writer, but I was too afraid and uncertain (and truthfully: flat-out lazy) to do anything about it.

But in 1994, I was going to be 30 years old.

And I could see that it would be easy for me to spend the rest of my life dreaming and wanting and not doing.

So I told myself that I would write two pages a day.

Two pages isn’t much.

But if you show up every day, it adds up.

I’m thinking about all of this now, because in November of 2015, I started a novel and last week, I turned that (written and re-written and re-written and re-written) novel into my editor.

Can I just say?

I am so glad that I sat down and started to do the work.

I am so glad that I woke up.

There are a lot of aspects of this that hit hard. In 2017, I will also be turning 30. I also want to be a writer and am afraid, uncertain, and lazy about that work. Lazy and perfectionistic, a wicked combination for accomplishing anything.

Becoming a mother has shifted some of my priorities. My most important work for the next 18+ years will be raising my children. As C.S. Lewis puts it,

Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.

But I know that story is a huge part of childhood (and adulthood too, if we’re honest), and that I have stories to tell.

So maybe the laundry won’t get done. Maybe there will be dishes in the sink. There will be dog hair on the floor and couch. But the people in my house will be fed and loved and read to everyday.

And the pages will be written.

And on the days that the pages don’t get written there will be grace.

But, two by two, here I go!