Month: November 2016

Humbled

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 1 Comment

This morning I am tired. And humbled.

Connor and I have had a few rough days/nights after being away for Thanksgiving. We had a great trip, but coming home has been hard. Today at 4:30am, I tearily told CJ some of my worries and that I didn’t know what to do and I just want to sleep.

Around 7am when he was getting ready for work and I was nursing Connor again, he told me he’d been doing some research and wondered if this might help my problem.

And I kinda yelled at him. I didn’t exactly raise my voice, but I definitely shut his suggestions down.

About an hour later, I apologized. But here’s the kicker: He said he expected it.

How awful.

To offer someone a solution to something they’re struggling with fully expecting them to snarl at you for it.

I’m sure there’s a deeper spiritual message here, but I’m too tired and too sorry to find it. This morning I’m just humbled by the grace my husband has shown me, and it’s overwhelming to consider the grace my Savior has shown me.

 

And now it’s time to feed the baby again.

Giving thanks… reluctantly

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

I’ve got to confess, I haven’t really had an attitude of gratitude lately. Or rather, I’m not feeling very thankful about Thanksgiving, because that’s what the main problem is. Our plans have changed several times, and none of the usual things are happening this year, which leaves me feeling disappointed instead of excited.

So I try to spin it in a positive direction:

I’m thankful to have an abundance of family within driving distance.

I’m thankful for a new-to-us van that can get us there.

I’m thankful that Connor is healthy enough to be traveling at one month old.

I’m thankful for those who will be doing the cooking.

But, all of those things came from my brain, not my heart. I know them to be true, but I’m not feeling them. Which is okay. And leads me to what I’m feeling honestly:

I’m thankful I have the creativity to come up with all of those things.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Birthday Thoughts

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

Today is my husband’s birthday. I’ve been pondering all day what to say in the semi-obligatory Facebook birthday post, and I realized I had more to say than just a status update. So, CJ this is mostly for you, although the rest of you can read it too, it is on the Internet after all. 🙂

Since we’ve been together for 10 years and married for seven, I’ve had the privilege of watching you grow and change in some pretty fantastic ways. I’m regularly astounded by your work ethic and your heart for people, two traits that have been there for as long as I’ve known you and have been key to your success. Sharing my life with you is a decision I do not regret.

But looking at you now, it’s like that Brad Paisley song, “I thought I loved you then.” Watching you with our son is awesome. Your love for Connor is so clear. There is no one I’d rather lose sleep with. No one I can’t wait to see at the end of the day more. No other hug I want to feel when I’m worn out. Raising a child takes at least two, and I’m thrilled that you’re in this with me.

I love you most.

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