Month: August 2016

Introversion as I Feel It

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 3 Comments

*I’ve been working on this post for a few days now, and I’m still not sure that it says everything I want it to say. Maybe I’ll have to do a series on introversion in my experience.*

I identify as an introvert. In the last few years it’s become “cool” (or at least less “uncool”) to be introverted. I’m guessing Susan Cain had a little something to do with that. (Check out her TedTalk here, if you haven’t.)

I need that time alone to recharge. But lately I’ve been confronted with the fact that it is also not good for me to be alone too much. For example, I don’t like to eat alone and I tend to make poor eating choices if I have too many meals alone. There are also certain people whose presence is just as easy and comfortable as being alone.

All that is because there are more aspects to me (to all of us) than just the ranking on the introversion-extraversion spectrum. I was first introduced to the Myers-Briggs personality test in my senior year of college. Thank you, Dr. Maylath. Because those four letters clarified a lot for me.

If you’ve never looked at this, here’s the link to the official page. Essentially this “test” measures where you stand on four different aspects of personality and character. Knowing yourself can be helpful.

I’m an INFJ, pretty much the rarest type, although I know quite a few like me. There’s a lot that I could go into, but one of the most dominant traits is empathy. Which explains why I regularly almost faint when visiting people in the hospital and why I’m sobbing 10 seconds into a video of soldiers returning home. But it also explains why it’s not good for me to be alone too much.

I think that when I spend too much time alone, I start empathizing with myself and essentially magnifying my own emotions, like when you put a microphone in front of a speaker and get that awful feedback sound. I need to sometimes let myself be influenced by the feelings of others to lower the intensity of my own.

But I have to be careful who I absorb and how much. Empathizing with others can give them a lot of power over how I feel, and I’ve learned to be cautious with the people I let get that close.

So, what are your letters? Did you find it helpful or not? I suspect that different types might not set as much score by these letters as I do.

Star Wars: I’ve got a bad feeling about this

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 1 Comment

Okay, so I hinted at this in my Harry Potter post and got a few requests to explain. Here goes:

I didn’t like The Force Awakens. And it’s taken me a really long time to figure out why.

When I was a kid, I LOVED Star Wars. We had VHS copies of Empire and Jedi that were recorded off TV and we wore them out. We wore out several new copies as well.

When the prequels came out, I liked them too. Even Episode I, although it’s not as good as the others.

In junior high, I discovered that there were novels set in the Star Wars universe. That the story didn’t have to end with just the 6 movies. I read a lot of Star Wars in those days. (In case you hadn’t caught on yet, I’m a nerd.)

So initially I was pretty excited that there was going to be a new movie. I’d read quite a few books that would make excellent movies, in my opinion. But then Disney announced that none of the previously written books were part of the canon anymore. Okay, I can cope. They’re just taking the story in a new direction.

I’d been pretty pleased with J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek movies, so I was fine with him taking on this series too.

I enjoyed the trailer when it came out.

When we finally went to the movie (somehow it’s a lot harder to get the whole family to the theater at once these days), I was pretty excited. I’d successfully avoided Internet spoilers and I was ready.

The beginning was good. It felt like Star Wars. I was a little irked that we started again with an orphan on a desert planet. And the whole New Order thing seemed off. The Empire was defeated right? Who are these guys? Where did they come from?

But, honestly I could’ve coped and adjusted to all that. I was totally destroyed by Han’s death. Like, I cried for the whole rest of the movie and some more when I got home. [I’m also pretty sure I was pregnant and didn’t know yet. Just for clarity.]

I get that Harrison Ford didn’t want to keep being Han Solo. I could’ve been okay with the fact that he died with a few adjustments.

  1. How about he sacrifice himself for a character we actually know and love? I know Ben is his son and everything, but I found him as unpleasant as Jar Jar. He wasn’t worthy of that great a sacrifice. We don’t know enough of his story.
  2. Why does Leia hug Rey when they come back? Chewie is who she should be hugging. I know Leia and Han hadn’t been super close lately (what’s up with that btw?), but seriously.
  3. Also, Rey has not earned the privilege of sitting in the pilot’s seat of the Falcon. She can sit in the copilot’s seat and Chewie can fly. I know she’s this crazy-good pilot and all, but not just anyone sits in that seat.
  4. Finally, there was no funeral. No closure for the characters or the viewers. We got a funeral for Anakin/Vader (at a time where we didn’t know his backstory yet, or really like him all that much). And we got a funeral for Qui-Gon and he only existed for one movie. Han died, so let’s go find Luke.

So, that’s what’s going on with me and The Force Awakens. We’ve owned the Blu-ray for months now and it’s still in its plastic wrapping. Maybe one of these days I’ll watch it again. Maybe I’ll wait until I’m no longer pregnant and volatile. 😉

Book Review: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

hp cc cover

Like most of my generation, I grew up on Harry Potter. Midnight release parties at Barnes & Noble. Waiting in line for the movies clutching a wand. When a new book came out, there were often 3 or 4 bookmarks in our family copy. We spent many road trips listening to Jim Dale take us to Hogwarts and back.

So, you’d think that I’d have been one of the most excited this summer by the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. But I wasn’t. Not that I don’t still love HP. It took me awhile to figure out why I wasn’t excited. Why I was feeling apprehensive. And to be honest, I think I have to blame Star Wars.

Let me explain. I’m a pretty hard core nerd. I loved Star Wars, still do, to a degree. But I was pretty shattered and disappointed by The Force Awakens. (I really should do a whole other post on this subject.)  I was afraid that Harry Potter was going to disappoint me the same way Star Wars had, and the same way the Hobbit movies did.

Reluctantly, I bought a copy and went to a reading party my brother-in-law was hosting. Since this book is a play, it was actually super fun to read it this way. We didn’t have enough people for every part, but it was very fun to sometimes be reading two characters having a conversation with each other. If you get a chance to read it out loud with a group, I recommend it.

Reading this familiar world as a script was odd. Sometimes the stage directions were confusing or absurd. “Harry’s thoughts resonated around his head.” And sometimes it was hard to imagine how they would show this on stage. I missed the depth that comes with a novel.

Despite that the world felt true. You learn some interesting things about the Trolley Witch on the Hogwarts Express. And all the familiar characters felt right.

The story hinges on Harry’s son, Albus, who is best friends with Malfoy’s son, Scorpius. The two of them have a series of misadventures with a Time Turner. This started to bug me after awhile. Didn’t we learn our lesson about time travel? It got so convoluted at points I was waiting for a blue police box to show up and put things right.

All in all, I enjoyed this story, but it mostly made me miss the real thing. And maybe I sort of miss the person I was then. The girl who never would have worried that the fresh out of the box Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire would disappoint her.

And yet, I can’t wait to read these books to my kids. Hogwarts and Narnia and Middle Earth and a million others.

Book Review: Curious Faith

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

I really love the new release displays at the library. Actually, back up a second, I really love the library. (Usually. I don’t always love the librarians, but that’s another story.) Recently, I was browsing the display and came across Curious Faith by Logan Wolfram. I’ve really enjoyed this book, but I’ve had trouble describing it to friends and family. Let’s see if I can do better in written form.

Curious-Faith-320

The subtitle of the book caught me first: “Rediscovering hope in the God of possibility.” The cover also shows a lovely, abstract, foresty scene. Nature is one of my happy places. I love camping and walking and simply being outdoors. So before I even opened the book, it had three things going for it: curiosity, hope, and nature.

The foreword was another good sign. This quote stuck out at me as particularly relevant:

“We are in desperate need of hope. Everywhere we turn, there are heartache and anger and bitterness. The fact that we live in a twenty-four-four social media culture means there is always more critique and pain and wickedness to view. We are bombarded with the weight of the world and the brokenness of it all. … We are all so broken, and when hope dims, our souls dim.”-Sarah Mae

Considering the world we live in these days, I needed a dose of hope. So I checked it out and went home.

Jumping into this book was a little painful. Logan walks us through her painful struggles with infertility and miscarriage. In my current state of 7 months pregnant, I spent a good chunk the beginning of the book weeping. Hormones, man. But the overall message was speaking so clearly to me that I didn’t put it down, despite the tears.

Logan reminds us to trust and obey and wait and wonder. She mixes her experiences with Scripture passages and quotes from theologians in a very readable way. Although nothing in this book struck me as new and earth-shattering, it was all what I needed to be reminded of during this season.

The book ends with a reminder that living life is never safe. We have never been promised safety, but we can be assured of goodness. And then she quotes Narnia:

“Is [Aslan] a man?” asked Lucy.

“Aslan a man!” said Mr. Beaver sternly. “Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion—the Lion, the great Lion.”

“Ooh!” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he—quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”

“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about being safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

 

And let’s be honest, that’s what really matters.

 

http://loganwolfram.com/curious-faith/

Finally Lucilla: A Pinterest Prompt

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

I have a board on Pinterest that’s full of writing inspiration. The terrible temptation with Pinterest is to just pin stuff and never actually do stuff. So this is me doing stuff with it.

Want to go home

This scene is actually really exciting for me because I’m finally writing a character I’ve been intending to for awhile. I’m in the process of writing a steampunk/faery Beauty and the Beast retelling, and I’ve been struggling with introducing 8 year old Lucilla to the story. Mostly because I got way too excited about her potential and then I was paralyzed.

Anyway. Here’s what I’ve got so far. I don’t want to give you too much, but I’m definitely going to be continuing this piece today.

Flynn finished his hourly rounds and stood near the helm, surveying the ship as they flew steadily. The weather was fine and the evening predicted a peaceful night, one that they could certainly use. Looking around, his eye caught the little girl curled up in the bow of the airship.

He crossed the deck and stood near her, on the pretense of gazing out over the mountains below.

“It’s a lovely evening. Smell that air? There’s snow down there,” he commented. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shoulder lift in a shrug.

“Sure was a fine supper.” Flynn was fine with a one-sided conversation; he’d had plenty with Captain Drake. But he suspected that taciturn wasn’t Drake’s sister’s default.

“I want to go home.” Lucilla spoke so softly that the wind nearly whisked the words away before he heard them.

Flynn nodded. “And I want to go to the moon. It’s not happening, sweetheart. Time to accept that.”

She turned her eyes to him, full of fire and glistening with tears. “I thought you were my friend!”

“I’d like to be. But you know as well as I that Wings is your new home. Your brother is your guardian now. This is his home and yours too.” He leaned forward and braced his elbows on the railing. “But you’ve got to admit, it’s not so terrible.”

“There’s nothing to do here.” The fire burned out of her, leaving behind a sulky eight year old.

“Hasn’t anyone shown you the library?” Flynn raised a brow, having carried Lucilla’s own trunkful of books on board himself.

“Miss Annabelle is always in there, and Sebastian said I’m not to disturb her work.”

“I think you’ll find then when Miss Annabelle is working, it would take an earthquake to disturb her. Let’s go see what we can find, eh?” He turned and headed slowly across the deck, eventually hearing her quiet footsteps following.

Good Intentions

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

Lately, I’ve been drinking my morning coffee on the patio while the dogs do dog stuff in the yard. It’s peaceful and not too hot or windy yet. A good time for thinking.

Today I was thinking about procrastination, one of my challenges. Turning it over in my mind a phrase came to me.

The path of procrastination is also paved with good intentions.

Following that rabbit trail a little further, I realized that good intentions are one heck of a building material. And like brick or concrete or wood, they can be used well or poorly, to build something useful or something bad. What seems to make a difference is whether you use any other materials in the process. A path made only of bricks with no sand foundation or mortar between them won’t be pleasant to walk on or as durable.

So here’s to mixing your good intentions with thought and action. See where your path might take you.

Third Trimester, and I’m Tired

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

*I had a different subject in mind when I sat down to write today. Instead, you get this. 🙂

I’m approaching the final countdown at nearly 30 weeks pregnant, and so far, I’ve been really lucky and blessed to feel really good. I never threw up and I survived a semester of grad school without complications. When I’m honest and rational, I really have no complaints.

But, guys, I’m tired. I’m getting to the point where I don’t sleep comfortably or soundly anymore. And I know what you’re thinking: “Just wait til baby comes!” “You’ll never sleep again!” “Muahaha!”

Being tired is what I’m most worried about. I’m not my kindest, most patient, best self when tired. None of us are.

I know that I won’t live up to my expectations; I already fail myself pretty frequently.

So, village, if you notice me frazzled or cranky, or that I’ve only put concealer under one dark-circled eye, remind me to cut myself some slack. Give myself some grace. And to go take a nap. Everything else can wait.

Sometimes you just have to start somewhere

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 6 Comments

Because this blog is primarily meant to be a home for brainwaves, the content will be varied. I’m a person with a lot of interests. Maybe I should start there. I’m Patricia Schnase. I’m a dreamer and a storyteller. I’m a writer and an introvert. I’m a wife and a mother. I’m an observer of the world. Many posts will likely be reflections on my life, progress on current projects, book reviews, and attempts to process what’s going on in my head and heart. But most posts will be fiction pieces based on the writing prompts I’ve been collecting on Pinterest.

I call myself a writer. Ideally, I’d like to be paid to write. Therefore, I really need to write (more than I have been lately). Part of the purpose here is accountability to keep writing.

The title The Percolator came via a thesaurus search on the word ramble. I know that the content of this site would be too inconsistent to discover the name that way. When I read the synonyms for percolate, I knew I’d found it.

“Percolate- bleed, bubble, charge, drain, exude, filter, filtrate, impregnate, leach, ooze, pass through, penetrate, perk, permeate, pervade, saturate, strain, sweat, transfuse, transude, weep”

Besides the obvious coffee/writer reference, the other verbs in the list resonated with my goals for my life and this site. I don’t want to just pass through this life without being charged by contact, without allowing my thoughts to penetrate, permeate, saturate, and transfuse through others and back.

A few years ago, when my now-husband and I were dating we had a family discussion about osmosis and diffusion. My sister said, “It’s when particles move from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration,” to which my husband replied with an offended “HEY!” I don’t want my life to be an area of low concentration. I want my life and work to be thoughtful, creative, and valuable for me and those around me.

So take a moment, and join me for a cup of whatever you’re drinking and some thoughtful conversation.